Resident Evil in Office
by xXvampANDraidenXx
Summary: AU. Leon struggles to deal with day-to-day cubicle life as an office worker, and his very own harem!


_**Leon in Office**_

_** By xXvampANDraidenXx **_

_**Chapter 1: Monday**_

The lid of the coffee popped off.

"Aww, god damn it!"

"That's why I always say let _me_ make the coffee. But do you let me make the coffee? No. You make the coffee. And you put it in a cup and you pop off the lid and you end up with a lap full of it. So when I say I told you so, it's justified."

Leon spared Angela nothing more than a scowl before pulling a handkercheif from the back pocket of his slacks and proceeding to clean up his beverage-stained crotch. Work always seemed to make him tense. Perhaps it was Angela's never-ending teasing comments, or the fact that his co-worker Fiona was in the cubicle next to his, constantly blasting rap music from 9:00 to 11:00 until the boss man decides he's finally had enough and tells her to shove it. It doesn't help that he returns to his apartment every day just have Luis waiting to tell him something useless about society contradicting itself and becoming a boring, giant, single being, just those dull zombies! Everyone on the Earth is a zombie anyway! What's the point! Then he rants to his roomate about scientific doodads and gadgets.

Leon rubbed his temples, lungs expanding, then abrubtly sighing loud enough to make Chris stare at him oddly. Chris Redfield furrows his eyebrows and keeps a constant expression, lingering and haunting. It sends shivers down his spine, sends images of the devil to later haunt his nightmares. What is up with those arms! He works in an office, for god's sake! _He must do pull-ups instead of working..._ Leon then stares back at Chris. They exchange sulks and grunts and then advert their attention elsewhere.

Oh. It would appear that Angela is still there, sitting on the corner of his desk, watching him carefully. How long has she been doing that? What is it with the women in this office? Or just women in general? Oh well, he decides, he'll try to just concentrate on his work for now.

"So what are you working on this time?" Angela asks, still watching him, "Let me guess. Some sort of mucho important government project that is so signifigant that all our lives depend on it?"

"Uh, yeah. Something like that." Leon decides he needs more coffee. He's hot and uncomfortable and he's well aware that it appears as though he's peed himself, and he thinks that since he can't really make coffee worth a crap, it would probably be cold enough to have a relaxing cooling effect, anyway. _I feel so pathetic.. Can't even make coffee correctly! And yet... _He thought about long nights, the thoughts of brains splattering across walls behind his thick frame, the guns in his hands, oh he wished! He wished society were zombies!  
He'd soon shoot them through their heads! What a thrill! A pure and simple rush of the hunt! It's just, the wolves were zombies, and you know...

He blushed, feeling childish. Angela lifted an eyebrow and pursed her lips, "Is it me? Is it me?" He made a disgusted face at her and his skin soon flushed the embarrassment out of his smooth and alluring features. Angela pouted. Fiona started to chuckle insanely.

"What?" Angela asks, crossing her arms, frowning at the blonde girl.

"Nothing," Fiona gives the older woman a smug smile before returning to her computer, typing urgently.

Leon finally decides he's had enough, standing suddenly and exiting his cubicle with a brisk walk. He hears Angela calling after him, but conversing with her any further seems only detrimental to his mental health at this point.

The men's room. He splashes his face with cool water and it drips off his chin and onto the lapels of his jacket.

_Enough,_ he thinks, and finally decides to leave early. He starts his way out of the louve, but Fiona grabs his hand with an urgent expression. "Hey," her voice is casual with a slight husky tint, "how about we go get some grub at that new Chinese restaurant? I can get ya a discount; I know how much you've been straining..."

Leon was in a moderate stage of shock, but complied only through the thoughts of his stomach. "Uh, yeah. What time did you have in mind?"

"Well, how about now?" she suggests with a sly smile, "I think we could both afford to get outta here for a little while."

Leon stares at her, blank-faced, "It's 11:30."

She nods, "Yeah, well, food is food, right?"

"I'll run home and change pants, and meet you in front in about half an hour. Sound good?" he asks in his don't-contradict-me voice that usually makes women weak at the knees.

"Uh-huh," Fiona nods, her cheeks flushing pink.

Leon gave a slight smirk and made his way out of the building. He lifted a hand for a cab. One soon pulled over in sheer admiration of his hunky figure in that sleek suit! The mistress cab driver fluttered, "Where are you going on such a fine day?" Leon examined her and frowned. "Just around the corner, a few blocks down. Meadow View Apartments." She focused back on her work and drove him there promptly. The amount of time spent watching signs pass by was short; the cab soon parked and he made his way into the building and promptly climbed three flights of stairs to his apartment room.

Leaning against his doorframe was Ashley, the tenant of the room across his. She was eighteen, just recently graduated from high school and now living on her own. Though slightly obnoxious and perhaps a bit too flirtatious, he was fond of the girl and allowed her to stick around, despite her blatant infatuation. Not to mention that Luis was also fond of her, though in a very different way.

Ashley grinned widely when Leon approached, "Oh, Leon! I've been waiting all day for you!"

"Not now, Ashley. I've got a date in a bit and I've got clothes to change." Leon seemed to be brushing off his suit in a slight hurry. Not too enthusiastic, but there were slight traces that he cared about something, appearance, at the least.

"Yeah yeah," Ashley rolled her eyes and pouted, "I'll be waiting when you get back."

"Great," Leon muttered sarcastically as he unlocked his door and entered the apartment, not quite caring when Ashley stalked in, making herself comfortable on the worn sofa covered in Luis' porn mags.

He enters his bedroom and quickly changes his clothing. The sun streaming through his window illuminated his chiseled features perfectly, and when Ashley entered the bedroom without permission she sighed, "Nice."

Leon smirked. He was about to have a hot date.

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Resident Evil or Fiona. Fiona is from Haunting Ground.**_

_**Aauthor's Note: I hope you liked it! Tell me your response and review please! This is a collab with me and my friend.**_


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